Greenbelt 2010 review

I love greenbelt, there is always so much to inspire and this year was no exception. The drive down was great and was punctuated with the now traditional stop at strensham services for a bite to eat before joining the queues at GB. The wristband was adorned and we moved from one holding queue to another, which included a perplexing and frustrating journey as car after car in front of me seemed to be stopping for an in depth conversation with the steward. Surely it was obvious you just went in the direction they were pointing without the need for winding down the window and checking that they had understood the direction of pointing was towards the next illuminous jacket adorned steward. But that seemed to be exactly what was being discussed, with that or it was some confused punters looking for the Reading festival. Eventually we were onto the campsite and began pitching the tent to be followed by festival guide procrastination and a stir fry. The stir fry has become the staple first meal of greenbelt and is usually delicious as the ingredients are still fresh. And then it's time for the festival to begin. I started with a talk by Richard Rohr on the art of looking sideways at the bible. It was fairly informative re-asserting the need to re-read the bible with different coloured glasses (symbolic, cultural, eschatological and historical to name a few) and to recognise that our reading is steeped in our own culture and experience. A reminder that arguing over the meaning of greek words to fully understand what Christ was saying is, in a way, futile, as Christ didn't even speak greek. What was fascinating was the idea around contemplative thinking as opposed to dualistic thinking. Dualistic thinking being the kind of way of assessing if something does not fit x then it is y. Language has developed in a dualistic way - tall and short for example. But then when you think about it, tall and short are relative and it's not that straight forward. Apparently dualistic thinking cannot be applied to love, death, god, suffering or the infinite. Which kinda of makes sense, but what contemplative thinking actually is I am none the wiser, but i think i need to go and try it out. I didn't get to any of Richard's other talks as i guessed they would be much of a muchness. Followed this talk with a decision to investigate zic zazou at the centaur, purely based on the fact that the picture in the GB guide looked interesting. Whilst queuing it began to drizzle and the setting sun cast a wonderful rainbow over the festival towards the camping area. People clambered for their cameras and pretty much everyone at GB will have taken a picture of this beautiful image. The only disappointment was a lack of pot of gold in my tent when i returned. Zic Zazou were a kind of stomp style theatre making music from borrowed items and 'apparent junk'. Quite good fun, and every time i was just beginning to tire then they would re-awaken my interest with sounds from the most unlikely of places.
My first night's sleep was punctuated with snaps of wakefulness as my body revealed it was actually freezing and i began to re-assess my choice of a one season sleeping bag with added blanket. Despite the depths of cold the sleeping bag claimed to remain comfortable i conclude that the one season for which it is fit is summer, inside a house. Not inside a tent. Despite my erratic sleep i was up bright and early to see the start of a beautiful day. Had a good wander around the festival village before setting out my camping blanket at the grandstand to listen to Mark Yaconelli, he had a great story telling ability and i was engrossed in his story about meeting his wife and then the warm sun took hold and i drifted in and out of sleep. But that didn't matter, i was enjoying the atmosphere. Then at 1pm there were literally one million things i wanted to do, beer and hymns, martyn atkins, keith skene. In the end i opted for engage worship to see if i could pick up any ideas for cvm. It was ok, but nothing new was greatly learned, apart from the fact that there seemed to be a great interest in 'doing church' differently. Particularly with regard to making the experience more open to participation and dialogue. Something we have been doing successfuly at cvm for some time. A quick dash to the underground for 10 minutes of 100 philistine foreskins who are truly awesome. Probably one of my musical highlights of the festival. A raucous racket which had people charging for the exits and pleading to be let out whilst sweaty teenage boys crashed into each other with shoes flying overhead. I would've loved to have stayed longer but another clash was coming up, but i was there long enough to hear the lead singer say how amazed he was that anyone had turned up at all to listen to them. The bass player added it was like people buying broken things on ebay. We left after a passionate anti-bnp poem. the raw energy of this band and the amusing between track banter would have me put these on the mainstage. It would be a riot!
Late afternoon we went to see Lou Rhodes, i was a big fan of lamb and was relishing the opportunity to hear her solo stuff. The venue was running late and she was on later than billed, however it was worth the wait. Pleasant folk musings, though i really missed the erratic beats and trip hop feel of lamb.
The music line up this year hadn't really grabbed me, and although the festival is so much more than the music, over the years i have always enjoyed going to see something on the mainstage. This year the biggest name seemed to be shed seven who were appearing on saturday night. I have fond memories of dancing to their tunes at indie discos in the past and so was quite looking forward to it. However they never really seemed to ignite the crowd, perhaps as the majority of the eager teenagers at the front had never heard of them. Without a particularly strong stage presence there wasn't really anything to get excited about, and as the tunes played i began to realise why i had only ever danced to them at discos and never gone out my way to purchase any of their material. more later i guess, more images are on flickr

blogging, so 2006

not blogged for ages, why is that? Am i too busy or can't i be bothered, or maybe it's so 2006. Blogging's for nerds who aren't busy enough. But i like blogging and maybe i miss it a bit. Or perhaps it's cos i'm reading jPod and i'm feeling all nostalgic for 2007. Loads of interesting stuff must've happened and will i miss those memories and thoughts not captured here? Were hours spent on facebook worth it. Seemed fun at the time, but it seems these days i can't be bothered to keep up to date with a myriad of people. Any way stuff has happened, good and bad and days, weeks and years have been ticked off. So anything to show? weddings, friends, kisses, life, death, job, worries. Anything new? dreams. is there time to dream. yes. no. but dreams stay dreams, time moves. can you strive for something tangible, or are all tangibles fleeting? Yes i'm getting all douglas coupland, and that's why i love his books. do i Like them because i elements of myself in his characters or is he astute at capturing the zeitgeist. Do i wish i was the Zeitgeist. Or am i just a nerd that gets excited when someone writes about a character that is excited about pi and prime numbers. I love coupland's quick and crisp narrative that floats between story and random interventions. Pages of chinese characters, computer code, lists and ingredients. There's something that excites me and compels me to read. mediocre. life. nonsense. there is so much to see and do yet time just seems to slip through and if i sift through all the mundaneness is there anything of value left. and who measures that value? what about the kingdom of god? Is that mundane too? maybe i should blog just to remind myself how mundane life is, and maybe i will see things that count. what counts? and who says it counts# who says i need a question mark^

just downloaded a new version of iTunes, probably sold my soul by agreeing to the new terms and conditions, waited ages for the installation, rebooted and not a lot has changed. i can still play my tunes.

a new location for cvm

A new start on Sunday for crookes valley. It's been a long journey to get to this place, and it was quite exciting to start the next stage. Can't remember how long ago it is since we sold the old church building, four years or so, and we spent a good few years looking at potential properties, and in one case going a long way down the road of preparing to purchase it. Then we realised that we just don't have the personel base to run a building and keep it well maintained. So we continued with meeting at the community centre and had chance to meet together and try and work out where, as a methodist society, we were heading. Through various discussions and prayer it seemed that our way forward was to focus on our informal way of conducting worship, and not get tied to a specific geographical location. A difficult conclusion to reach, especially for those whom have been part of a particular geography for many years. So this year we have spent time visiting other churches in the area, looking for a suitable home, somewhere where we could offer an alternative type of service. It was interesting going to other churches and having a break from the routine, and after meeting with various leadership teams to talk about practicalities, we came to a decision to move to Broomhill. So is this the promised land, have we crossed over the Jordan? The metaphors of the fledging Israelite nation are apparent, and there's still a way to go. We've realised that we do have something to offer, but how to articulate what our 'worship style' is about has proved difficult. Saying it is 'cafe church' seems trite and loaded, but we do sit around tables and drink tea and coffee through the service. We're at home singing ancient hymns as we are with new worship songs. Open to discussion and yet able to listen too. It's definately a space i would like to invite friends to if they wanted to explore faith. And so it was our first sunday meeting at the same time as the broomhill service, but in another room. I'd been looking forward to it for some time, the last few services at the community centre have seemed a drag, expectant to be elsewhere, but knowing that the time is not yet come. It was good, a nice service, the venue suited our style, and we even had passing trade. People new to the area looking for a suitable church at which to worship. Something our previous location did not offer. So our journey continues, and unlike the Israelites i don't think it will involve the destruction and piliging of the current occupants, but hopefully some kind of partnership will evolve. We offering church for those who are dissatisfied with current models, and the current society offering church for those who enjoy the format of tradition. I wonder where we'll be in a years time

Jordan

So after Greenbelt I had about a day turnaround before heading off to Jordan with highway projects. I've been back for quite some time now, but just not sat down to blog. I have a journal of my time that runs to pages, and really it is hard to put all these experiences into a few words here. Not only had I gone to explore this country, but to get to know people who lived there, share my faith and experience and learn from the faith of the people I meet. The time in Jordan began with a few days orientation in Wadi Rum, the desert to the south of Jordan, made famous by the exploits of te lawrence. This was an awesome experience, living out in the desert, getting to know the rest of the guys on the mission teams. There is something rather special about a desert, the sun beating down, the awesome colours of sand and sandstone jabel changing with the angle of the sun. And life. It is remarkable to see how life thrives in such a hostile environment, greenery clinging to trickles of water. The sandstone monoliths acting as sponges during the infrequent rains, the water slowly working it's way through and impeded by inpenetrable granite returning to the rock's edge as a spring. It makes the biblical analogies based in deserts really come to life. There is one thing knowing that water is essential for life, seeing it in person greatly adds to the meaning.

Taking these thoughts with me, I travelled, with the other guys on the same team as me, to Amman. Here, I was one of many to be struck down by some rather bad gut troubles, that rendered me unavailable for the first day working in school. Thanks to some antibiotics and other drugs I was soon on the way to recovery. We were teaching in two schools, a boys and a girls, taking the christian religious instruction lessons for 10-18yr olds. It proved quite tricky to adapt the lessons for the different age profiles, and interest. Using Jonah, we tried to look at reasons we run away from god, prayer and the underlying truth of the book of jonah, that god loves and has compassion for all people, even our enemies. A hard lesson for Jonah to see compassion shown to his enemy, compassion he did not wish to see exerted, though he knew it would come if forgiveness was sought.
It's difficult to know the worth of such work, taking lessons, that would take place whether we are there or not. In the evenings we had chance to get to know the local church young people and it was great to hear the leadership responsibilities these young people had taken on, leading sunday school and camps etc. It was fun visiting the local sights and making friends, and i hope our friendship and solidaritory was beneficial to a group of similarly aged people expressing a faith that is a minority in their country. I was encouraged at how passionate these people were about their faith and using their gifts to share their passions with children. It was also a pleasure to join them on their retreat as they sought teaching and reflection from the minister and encouragement in their leadership roles. Though I would dearly have loved some conversations around their experiential interpretation of the bible and how it might differ from someone who reads the bible remote from the geographical settings, and how indeed, expressing a faith in the minority effetcs them too. We learnt that they did not feel persecuted and in fact along with the population were quick to praise the king and the skill he uses in keeping the diverse peoples together. Jordan's population consits mainly of waves of refugees, the most recent being iraqi. The king ensure that the voices of the minorities remain in power, something that would never happen if all ruling powers were democratically elected.
On reflection I'm pleased to have again experienced life in the middle east and made new friends. I've learnt a lot and felt encouraged by the people i met. I just hope that it has been recipricated and my presence has helped the faith journey of at least someone i encountered. There are plenty of pictures on flickr which can be found in my highway project set
Bizarrly, we also nearly met tony blair who was also in amman. He was due to attend church on the sunday, but had been invited to see the king instead.

Greenbelt 2007

Had another excellent Greenblet Weekend. This festival is great, and despite the music line up being the poorest for some time, I still managed to enjoy it greatly. Arriving Friday in blazing sunshine it appeared that the weather had once again looked favourably on a festival i was attending. There was quite a wait in a queue before getting on to the campsite, but this gave me plenty of time to scour the programme for things of interst. Each morning I would then browse through my checklist to discover numerous clashes and decisions had to be made as to which seminar sounded the best. A few brief highlights below, I've kept it a bit short this year cos I'm packing to go to Jordan with highway projects tomorrow.

Friday
Met up with mr clark who joined me and ad in the world cup tent. Good to see him and congratulate him on his first steps in gainful employment. Watched Sarah Mason on the mainstage, who has a nice voice, but seemed to get distracted re-tuning her instrument all the time - doesn't she have a tuner! A pleasant enough start. Wander around the extensive village and called in at the organic beer tent to continue conversation with cc and ad. I'd also read that there would be opportunity to dj at this venue on the Friday. I thought there would be loads of people wanting a go, and was too afraid of losing my iPod, so had just brought along 4 tracks. Despite the PA being wrong and too poor for the venue, I still enjoyed my time as a dj and mixed a bit of an indie disco party: Can't explain - the who, hotel yorba - white stripes, alala - css and DANCE - justice. Too early for any dancing action, but a guy behind the bar exclaimed his enthusiasm for DANCE by running up to the 'dj booth' proclaiming it to be 'a tune'. I christened him my number one fan. Finished off the night with Billy Bragg, who for a guy with just a guitar does a great job of headlining with his brand of protest songs, with an ironic cover of the carpenters thrown in to keep us amused.

Saturday
Went to a couple of literature workshops which were quite good, i was amazed at some of the talent shown, people were writing some great prose in just a few minutes, it made my work look like that of a primary school kid. Some useful excerises nonetheless. Maggi Dawn did an interesting talk around the subject of her book questioning how we hear god in light of the fact that god doesn't often use angels to proclaim his will, in particular looking at the stories of mary and zechariah. Of course there were no straight answers to how to hear god, but pointers of how to disern his voice in the everyday and ordinary, and how there is an element of choice in finding god's will, we make creative choices and these are woven into the will of god. Some nice ideas. There followed a talk by bishop graham on the latest arcade fire album. A fairly dull but well researched look at the writing style and thoughts of win butler. Not only is it a great album, but bishop graham suggests that it is a call for the church to re-awaken and challenge issues of justice and to be counter-cultural, rather than a critique on the church itself. He didn't play any clips though.
Took part in the communion by numbers service by Grace in the afternoon. It was lovely in the sun and i bumped into ben askew a sheffield blogger who i finally got to meet in the flesh and share communion with. The service worked quite well, but i could imagine it working better in the 'dinner party' setting in which it originated. It was interactive, and i enjoyed the liturgy produced for the sharing of the elements. I might have to use those again. In the evening I opted to try speed dating through the lack of any decent music. It was better than i thought it would be, and a chance to meet a lot of people i wouldn't otherwise have done. No chance of meeting everyone and instead just met a small percentage of the eligable people in the tent. There were quite a few people who i wouldn't've minded continuing a conversation with, but by the time I'd decided i'd make some indication of this, the cards used to exchange details had run out as had most of the girls who had partaken in conversation with me. I expect they had dashed due to the poor quality of the other candidates that followed me (!) Anyway despite that, as i was meandering my way out of the tent got chatting with a few others who weren't part of my speed dating trial and we went to the beer tent to continue chatting. Maybe make a few more friends - or at least boost my facebook profile - lol.

Sunday
The diversity of greenbelt is what, to me, makes it a special festival. People from all walks of the christian faith and those searching and those of no particular faith, all catered for, and not in a segrageted way either. You're just as likely to bump into a happy clappy charismatic as you are a caped goth. And this is exemplified in the communion service where thousands gather. This year we went to the arena venue for the live feed and a supposed 'alternative' style. Bit disappointing that the only alternative about it from the regular service being fed to us on the screen was some lame vjing during collection. However it was great to feel part of a hug assembly all sharing in the eucharistic feast. Helped remind of the diversity of the body of christ. Prayers of intercession were supplemented with a release of balloons which made a nic symbol of our prayers being raised heavenwards. Got a seat to see andy yorke perform, being brother of thom, i think i expected too much and his set of sub snow patrol rock was fairly uninspiring. No guest appearance from his more famous bro either. A few more talks and seminars in the afternoon and a fine performance from one nation in the early evening. Not as good on the mainstage as they are in an intamite venue, but still able to get the crowd dancing along to the funk. Met up with the highway projects people at the festival for beers in the evening.

Monday

Started the morning with some meditative chanting with taize. There's something really moving about the music and tuning in to god. A wonderful way to start the week. Also found this meditative artwork in a room that was playing 'prayer of the heart' a piece written by john tavener with bjork. It was an awesome piece of music, with bjork singing 'jesus son of god have mercy on me' in a number of ancient tongues. Her voice is magnificant and has an aching quality to it that inspires you to pray also for mercy in god's presence. Then a listen to John Bell which is a must at greenbelt. A fantastic orator and often opens my eyes to new ways of reading texts. Today teaching on the truth stories, not the true stories of the opening chapters of genesis, highlighting how the literal interpretation of some of these texts have been used for the acceptance of some atrocious behaviour, particularly in the south african apartheid system. Speaking of the truth contained in these allorgories refreshed the understanding of these tales. Though i wondered how do you teach these stories to kids. You can hardly tell a story and then go through some protracted deconstruction on what the texts say about god. Though teaching them as literal historical fact can lead to a dissolution of faith as they do not hold up to the rigors of intellectual questioning. I mean, what did noah really do with all that poo for a start. When faith fails because that which we were taught as truth unravels as not truth leads to the unsettling of actual truth and revelation of god in christ. Hearing great minds expose the truth of god contained in these tales comforts a cynic like me. The faith in christ i experience is not based on mere fables which do not stand up to scrutiny, but that these tales still contain within them revelations of the character of God that should help continue shape my faith and understanding. The next talk i went to was the best of the entire weekend. I'll probably blog on this later when I've read this book, but Rhidian Brook gave an account of his travels through the pandemic regions of HIV. During a slideshow i was struggling to battle tears as he showed fields full of orphans as a result of HIV and war.
After packing up the tent me and cc headed down to see chas and dave, i waited 20 minutes for run rabbit run or an appearance of steve davis for snooker loopy. I got none, and twenty minutes of cockney knees up piano twonking was more than enough! The evening brought the finest musical performance of the weekend from Duke Special. The set seemed to get better as it went on, his quality vocals supported by a cast of theatrical backing musicains led to a spectacular performance, and a great curtain riser for us leaving as we did before delirious.

Greenbelt photos on flickr

london weekend and mstu

Leading up to June I'd been feeling a bit down, probably cos in another world I'd've been travelling to canada to spend time with v. Instead I'd decided to try and keep myself busy, which i think i've done pretty successfully. This weekend I took the opportunity to visit hc in london and see monkey swallows the universe live at the Spitz. Arriving around mid-day, i'd got a fair amount of time to kill and wandered into green park to read in the sun. Nice and relaxing, i'd arrange to meet hc around trafalgar late afternoon, so wandered over to see if i could find a nice coffee bar nearby. Arrived at trafalgar and noticed that there was due to be a free palestine march. It sounded interesting so took a seat on the steps outside the national gallery and awaited the arrival of the march. I'd happeded to be sat next to a group of knitters, who apparently meet up in random locations around the city to knit. There were a couple of guys too - how metrosexual. One of them was knitting with a pair of huge needles, about a metre tall. It seemed to be attracting considerable attention.

Eventually the march arrived and a number of seakers addressed the crowd. Some were much better than others, I must admit some of the speakers that were addressing us as comrades and encouraging us to support the freedom fighters were not using the most tactful of language. It's such a shame a week after the event to see the political turmoil that has enveloped the state of palestine. A coalition of democratically elected governers is overturned because other countries refuse to deal with Hamas. It makes a mockery of democracy. And the embargos enforced on the palestinian authorities is one of the main issues to lead to the conflict and in-fighting that only serves to ridicule the ability of the palestinian people to govern themselves. What a situation.

As the afternoon wore on I looked down to see that I was beginning to turn a bright shade of red, so i swiftly made for the shade and awaited hc.

We headed out to liverpool st station and got something to eat before making our way to the spitz. It was absolutely roasting hot in the venue, and we were in time to see the first act. They were pretty poor, playing chaotic rock that followed obvious progressions from loud to quiet. Yawn. Then it was mstu who again put on an absolutley fabulous gig. Nat's vocals were particularly passionate and the new songs hint that the new album will be just as good as the debut. Finally, shady bard, the headline take the stage and wow the crowd with their orchestral indie rock. Songs about the environment, reminiscent of 'we love life' by pulp. Good stuff.

Sunday i appreciated the warm weather, browsed the tate modern before arranging to meet a myspace friend. Passing st paul's i decided to pop in and say a prayer. The sung eucharist had just started, so i took a seat near the back and listened to the pomp of the ceremony. Not my usual thing high anglican worship, but nothing else would have done in this magnificant venue. The architecture and paintings are incredible and with the bombastic sounds of the organ vibrating through the church you can't help but get a sense of the awesomeness of god. Something that is easy to forget when sat around tables with coffee chatting, which is my normal worship preference. I also liked the fact that there were people coming and going at the back of the church, some to get a free look at the architecture, others to perhaps pray or sit in on the service for a while before leaving. It gave fluid nature to the worship, strange in a venue that follows such a rigid formal worship. Of course those who wished to take an active participation in the service could be lead to the front of the church by one of the nuerous ushers.

Finally met up with ys in shepherds bush and enjoyed mint tea and some food at a little arabic cafe before going for a walk through st james park. It was a lovely day and interesting to meet someone who is also a big fan of music.

A few more pics in the flickr set

Look at the audience and go blah..

From reading jonny baker's blog i was aware of some kind of discussion forum called Blah... It seemed to be the place trendy christians go to discuss spirituality in contemporary society. They just started one in sheffield and ad reminded me it was on this week. We decided to go and see if we could blend in with the 'trendyness' despite not having any daft sculptured facial hair or howie t shirts, or even an i-book. Thankfully we did. The event was held at the showroom and discussions were around god in contemporary film and tv. In particular films surrounding the paranormal, stories that traditionally draw on christian imagery in the good/evil fight eg crucifixes etc. We watched clips from constantine (which looks diabolically bad) and buffy the vampire slayer (yay). To be honest the clips were overlong, but the discussions were interesting. The clips seemed to portray a sense of evil that had to be overcome by the strength and action of the 'hero' usually human. A physical action, rather than a spiritual one. There was not any explicit reference to god, rather an implicit being, creator, force of good that is older than all religions. This 'god' was portrayed as present, but in the background, inactive and passive. Whereas the christian faith is about an active and caring god, present and acting through the holy spirit now. There was quite a lot of theology babble around though - metanarrative and nietzsche. Some guy raised a point about the metanarative of buffy, which i thought was nonsense. He was clearly using the term to encompass the whole of the buffy story, failing to take into account the metanarrative that it was written by educated westerners brought up in an, although nominal, christian tradition, steeped in spiritual folklore also risen from a christendom perspective. I'd be interested to hear equivalent stories from india and compare. There was plenty of time to chat with people afterwards, and i had a somewhat awkward conversation with some girl who i clearly had little in common with. It was quite a struggle, then her husband arrived and she introduced us. He asked what kind of construction work i did, and i explained the LIFT schemes which led to an interesting conversation on the privatisation of buildings for public services. During which I noticed his wife's eyes glazing over, then he started asking about my phd, which was clearly more than she could take, leaving, as I began discussing the regulation of cholesterol - lol

bank holiday I

I've been pretty busy lately, too busy to blog as i've been out enjoying the nice weather we've been having. i don't particularly like super long blogs, they are just little morsals of thoughts and things i've been doing. if you've got time to be reading long in depth debates and shenanigans you really ought to be getting out more. so i'll blog some small episodes over the coming days:

Thursday
so it was election time, i'd declined to be a poll clerk this year as i wasn't in need of the extra cash and i didn't fancy the really long day. Ther was little coverage over the elections and they seemed to come and go with little fuss. The predicted labour failure didn't really materialise. my ward was very tight, just a few votes in it. To be honest i'd have been happy with the candidates from labour, lib dems or greens. Members of the labour party were going around knocking on doors to remind people to vote and to get an idea which way people were voting. I'd never seen them do that before - they were obviously keen to win the seat. They lost out to the lib dems by about 30 votes! Thankfully there seemed fewer interest from the british national party around sheffield, though they still collected reasonable numbers of votes in the wards they stood which is a worrying trend.
At bible study we're using an mrdf study guide looking at poverty and slavery. It's been interesting and this week we were looking at some of the laws given to the newly flourishing israel nation after leaving slavery. Rules that ensure profiteering is not a major driver, but the growth and stability of all members, rich and poor, of the israel nation. Laws that give rights to the alien and ensure stumbling blocks are not placed in the way of those less able. Alright if we were to read on in the passage there are numerous odd laws that must really be taken within the cultural setting, but the basics to which the israel nation was raised are a great set of starting ideas. We mused how we would run a new settlement. The key seems to be the 'buy in' from all members of the group. It only works if everyone does their bit, however menial. In practice though, humans seem to be inately selfish which i guess is why capitalism creates greed at the exploitive expense of others, communism breeds apathy and a superior ruling class that has to enforce the pricipals in order for them to work, the welfare state breeds people who exploit the benefits entering a cycle of dependency and an unwillingness to work. It makes you wonder if there is ever a way that the kingdom of god can work here on earth as prayed for in the lords prayer - may your kingdom come on earth, as it is in heaven. Will there be a time when everyone wants to serve god in that way, or will selfish tendancies or disputes about irrelevencies continue.

Die Grosse Stille

I've had a really busy week with commitments most evenings, which meant I have been rushed off my feet. One of the things I wanted to do was to go and see into great silence so I met up with a couple of friends at the showroom, including curig, a and M&E, though E admitted that she fell asleep during the film.
It's a film that I heard about around a year ago and sounded like an interesting experiment in docu-film making. German film maker Philip Groning had requested to film a group of Carthusian Monks, and sixteen years later was granted permission, provided he added no additional sound or commentry and used just natural lighting. What is produced is an almost three hour insight into the regulated and silent life of these monks. Dedicated to regular prayer, study and silent meditation, you are drawn into their routine. These scenes of their ritualistic life are interspersed with stunning images of the surrounding Alpine scenery which slowly transforms as the seasons change. The day to day chores of the monks are conducted with integrity and also a warmth. It is during these scenes that the personalities of the monks comes across, despite the lack of talking. There are shots of the monks, alone facing the camera, where they seem to radiate an air of confidence and contentment with compassion. The slow pace of life with plenty of time for silence and reflection is in stark contrast to my rushing around at the moment, and there is something about their use of time, space and silence that I think we can all learn from. Why these men choose to live such a life remains a mystery, and what purpose it might serve is not made clear, and is left to the viewer to form. Certainly an interesting piece of art work, with definate underlying spirituality. Sunday afternoons the only time reserved for a recreational walk and conversation, opitimised by the wonderful scenes of the monks sliding down a snow laden hill side in their shoes. Marred only by a conversation with a blind monk who proports that because God is infinately good then there can be good to come out of all situations, and hence he gains strength from his disability. An argument which does not stand up in the face of many atrocities that the world has seen, and perhaps an easier statement to make when living an aesthetic lifestyle as this.

journeys

last saturday i took part in an event at broomhill methodist. three people from around the circuit were sharing stories of various journeys they had been on, part of which was a retelling of my time in israel/palestine with highway projects. the evening started with the sharing of food and conversation, followed by two talks. a break for drinks and more conversation followed by the final talk and questions. the format worked really well, but with just over 20 minutes to share some of my experiences it was quite a challenge. It really is impossible to summise how experiencing another culture affects you, how sharing my love of christ in work and deed works itself out practically. I often feel i get so much out of giving to others. and of course my trip was punctuated with the commencement of a war. reflecting on my time there reminded me of feeling of some use, a purposeful vocation. not that the mundane is without purpose, on mission everything is more heightened, added to the context of another culture, really impacts my faith journey. which was the purpose of the event, we are all on a journey, which sounds trite, but at the same time ideas, events and circumstances can have a great impact on our journey of faith and our understanding of the divine. i found great encouragement from m experience on an experience exchange project in zambia. a chance to utilise all his skills to their full in assisting projects throughout the country. challenging and humbling, really made me consider doing something similar in the future.

Holy Space

Awe and Ultraviolet are putting on a special reflections on Christmas event at Broomhill Methodist church on sat 16th Dec. The space will be open from 2-8pm for people to drop in and utilise the various interactive stations that will hopefully aid a time of quiet and contemplation during this busy period. If you're in the Sheffield area I'd recommend you drop by. Click on the image for full details.

It's a Carol free zone!

Hopeful?

Awe was interesting on sunday, again short in numbers but I guess that's not a measure really, quality not quantity. The advent prayer worship trick worked quite well. Numbered envelopes were adhered to the wall, so that cards could be dropped in place and attenders were asked to write a prayer of intercession in a card and place into an available envelope on the wall (we were then supposed to use this as a prayer station later in the service, but ran out of time). JT then led a discussion around advent, looking at the 'hope' aspect of the advent season. The hope of the coming saviour in christ a couple of thousand years ago and the hope of the church for his return however we might imagine that. We were then asked 'what do you hope for' and I really struggled, what do i hope for? I couldn't think of anything that sprang straight to mind, JT spoke of issues like apartheid that as a student he had hoped would be abolished, and we talked about social justice 'hopes', but they didn't really seem realistic. Even though the abolition of something as huge as apartheid would've been unthinkable a few years before it actually happened, when I look at things like sustainable energy I find it hard that people could take on such a vision without any financial gain. For instance in these health centres we are building at work we have had these sustainabilty surveys carried out on the design showing how solar panels and wind turbines can be incorporated into the design, but when these things are put through the financial models the energy saving is not cost effective against the installation and maintenance of the energy producing devices and therefore they won't be included in the final building. However, I'm digressing, but you can see the kind of 'hopeless' air I have around things, and trying to think of a personal hope was still not forthcoming. Then a little glimour of a thought appeared and that was the kind of idea from 'it's a wonderful life where george bailey gets to see a vision of what life would be like for his family and friends if he hadn't been born. That idea that you can have some kind of positive effect on people and their lives is something that I guess I hope for. In someway I hope that not only have I made an impact as a friend, but that through me a glimour of the love of christ and the nature of god has also been revealed. Later in the service as we meditated on the question what would you do/pray if you knew there was 5 days to christmas/christ's second coming/your death, these ideas began to crystallise, if I had a short time I would want to spend time with those people who I wanted to leave an 'impression' on, my friends and family that in someway I would live on in their memories and leave a 'footprint' of christ.

in case you were wondering

i forgot to include anything about football in the previous post. Well that is in part because there really wasn't much to say. In fact scrappy goal, scrappy match pretty much sums up the chesterfield game. Watched brewster's millions on sunday, one of those classic 80s films you watch as a kid and think are amazing, but probably don't really stand the test of time. I'm happy to report that I think it did stand the test of time, whether or not War Games, Flight of the Navigator and DARYL do too, remains to be seen. Brewster's millions was also a film i remember chatting about with john on a journey to school as we both enjoyed it, I guess it also made me feel a bit like i was getting old too in a strangely nostalgic way. Church was better as there was quite a number in attendance and after the coffee morning it felt like the vision was beginning to become apparant. We've been joking along a 'pirate' theme in church meetings for quite sometime since steve had suggested we all came to a service dressed as pirates as some school kids were coming to film a methodist communion service for an RE lesson or something. The joke was to claim that this was the methodist way. For a while our minister wasn't sure if we were joking, and then with the recent 'international talk like a pirate day' I highlighted the youthblog post lamenting the lack of pirate liturgy. Well JT announced that he had been working on a pirate themed service and that he would be delivering it next sunday, so I'll look forward to that!
Awe planning meeting last night, and although I thought that it was a bit of an effort and that ideas weren't really flowing, when I wrote up the ideas today they did seem to be crystallising together. The theme is advent and we started by looking at some 'input' to the idea of advent:

• eschatology
  
• realisation of christ in us
  
• when/do we expect christ to return?
  
• what do we expect on christ's return?
  
• does it make a difference to what we do/how we act knowing that He will return? eg jesus is coming - look busy
  
• is advent and adventure?
  

and the train of thought took us into something along the temporal aspect, the waiting, the finite time we have on earth and how we use it. Hopefully itshould spark some intersting discussion.

grrrr my keyboard has had it, the space keeps sticking and it's making it difficult to post. I need a new o ne.

Beer, tea and football

Yesterday i went to the cask and cutler beer festival. It was, as expected, very good. I sampled quite a number of the beers on offer, and my favourite of the night was gaucho from the salamander brewery. Unfortunatley it had soon gone and replaced by another brew. When they have the festival they have a stack of casks in addition to the hand pull, and it amuses me when they go round with the watering can watering the towels draped over the top.
In contrast this morning was a church coffee morning round at Peter's house. He is one of our more elderly members, but is always very quick with his dry humour. Most people at our church are tea drinkers (maybe that's what makes us methodists!) and on asking what people would like to drink Peter said "would anyone like coffee, I guess I ought to make some with it being a coffee morning". There were a few takers, but the tea drinkers far exceeded them. It was also a good chance to talk about where we are going as a church, and how our thoughts might help in the current circuit review. The conversation was really useful and we plan to undertake some conversations within the circuit and also with neighbouring circuits. My feeling is that although we have a vision we want to offer the 'circuit - or whoever' and that there are probably people who would want to buy into that vision and help us attain that critical mass of people tomake it work, most people feel too committed to their own 'local efforts'. People are busy keeping their own walls from falling down without trying to build somenew ones, to use a metaphor. Perhaps this is true in general for methodism, instead of pooling circuit resources, individual churches are too busy maintaining their own local efforts, though i acknowledge in certain places these are working really effectively. But if we want to stop the decline in numbers then brave and difficult decisions need to be made on plant. There maybe less people, but these people are probably very passionate and unfortunately they probably become drained by the efforts of maintaining plant or church. These people should be freed to dream dreams and work in effective groups, without feeling obliged to maintain the status quo.

Pretty polly is a pigeon

The last couple of weeks I've been finding church quite trying, it's not that the service is bad, it's just the effort in 'making it work' is spiritually unrewarding. I think we have dipped under the critical mass of people in order to make it work. It's really frustrating, cos I think we have something unique as a church of wide agerange, but all of a similar mind in terms of wanting to get something more from worship than compared to the traditional service. I just feel that we don't quite have the numbers to really grow these ideas, and then begin to focus on how we can share our faith with others. Particularly those dissatisified with traditional church, and those wishing to explore their faith. It is these latter ideas that would really excite me, but all efforts seem to go into hosting worship,and sometimes it just feels like putting on a performance. In fact the highlight of this sunday's service was when andrew discovered a pigeon had somehow managed to get into the community centre and was hiding in the office. i had to coax it outside using a cardboard tube and box lid, it eventually was coerced towards the door, which andrew opened and I edged it outside. I saw it later, pacing up and down the pavement!

Debrief

today was the debrief meeting for highway projects and it was an unusual experience. The last time I was with a large group of this team was whilst out in Israel, and for some reason it felt weird to be around them agian. Seeing photos of the people we were working with made me realise how I miss them, and although at times it was a difficult mission, I really felt I was part of something larger, something that I couldn't grasp, but knew it was of worth. So the reminders today made me feel quite down, difficult to describe really. The worship was good, but it lacked something that we had whilst worshiping out in israel. In fact some of the worship and singing times we had out in Israel were superb, you could really sense the closeness of god's presence. Today there wasn't quite that connection, and maybe part of me was hoping that that would be there. That meeting up with some of my fellow missioners it would recreate that experience, that intimicy with god, that relationship with people, but no, it just felt vacant. So i left the day, not feeling refilled and excited and with fresh understanding of the mission, but really rather weary and despondant.

The best made plans...

I had been pondering whether to go to see doncaster vs chesterfield, but decided that I could do with a weekend to get some more jobs done around the house. I took the advantage of having a lie in on saturday and do some reading. I've just bought why don't penguins feet freeze a compilation of questions from the new scientist's last word feature. It's quite an enjoyable read, though I think some of the answers could do with a few mathematical equations. Often it is much simpler to explain things with a formula rather than text. Got a bit of a sore throat, which i put down to breathing through my mouth at night. However as the day proceeded it was clear I had a cold and my nose just began streaming. It made me feel really grumpy and lethargic. Such that I couldn't get on with the jobs I had in mind. So frustrating to have a weekend taken away by a stupid cold. Had some soup and garlic bread and watched the final korean movie that I'd recorded. This was the most commercially successful I think, it is called brotherhood (of war) and is a fairly graphic portrayal of the korean war from the perspective of two brothers. It is in a similar vein as 'saving private ryan' and highlights the attrocities of war and the effect that war has on the soldiers. In places it is over sentimental, but the ending scene is really quite moving as the younger brother finally finds the resting place of his older brother.
Didn't sleep well due to the cold and this morning I found setting up church quite exhausting. Not many people at church this morning, which is really frustrating, some times i wonder why i bother. I think we have a really interesting way of 'being church' yet it feels somewhat isolated.

Busy sunday

Sunday was a fairly busy day, rushing around to set up church was pretty exhausting as there was only me and andrew around and it was communion. Setting out tables, sound equipment, making tea, practicing songs, fetching people, setting out communion elements, and then after the service putting everything back and moving sound equip to the car to take for the awe service in the evening. The service was interesting as we discussed the story of the 'rich young' man, the way that someone who supposes they have god all understood and then to be challenged in such a way that you realise that you haven't fully grasped god at all. Even the disciples must've been challenged at jesus' response to sell all your things and follow him. Not least cos this was a sacrifice that they had already made, but because to them 'wealth' was a sign of god's favour on someone. Again the 'upside down' nature of god's kingdom is revealed. There followed input from the minister about freudian ideas on personality and what gives us our 'moral' understanding, it was all really interesting. After lunch I spent a few hours trying to tidy my office, it's a tip, and a good few more hours are required to get things back in order. Set up for the alternative service went smoothly and was again an opportunity to enjoy each other's company as we played with gadgets! The subject was 'what is it to be human', which the speaker had wanted to expound in a sense to break the traditional 'what is it to be a christian'. We tried a new worship trick which seemed to work quite well. People were encouraged to write something good about being human on a piece of card and then be photographed holding it. These images were then later collated into a visual powerpoint meditation after some thoughts from the speaker about what was bad about being human. i thought it worked really well. The talk was particularly challenging with regard to the term 'inhumanity' and the labelling thus of someone as sub human and what that means, iving examples and readings from eye witness accounts of lynch mobs. What do we see when we look in a mirror, what if we reflected the nature of all humanity, what would that represent? Does the nature of god who became human shine through.

You mean it's not me noggin - it's me peepers!

Been for an eye check this weekend, it's something I've been meaning to get around to since the beginning of the year. Specsavers were offering tests for £10, but I wasn't too impressed with their range of glasses, so on sat i popped into boots and found a pair that i liked that were in the sale. Writing down the frame name for later, as my appointment wasn't until the afternoon. Met AD in CLC where i came across the lion bible handbook that had been reduced so ended up buying that. Unfortunately the shop seemed to be full of anti-evolutionary propaganda, got me quite irate as anyone with any understanding of the theory could see it for the tosh it was. Some of the statements were so far from the truth, I won't even bother writing about them. Why is it such an issue? Actually I think that some of the aspects of evolution, especially evo-devo, is so spectacular and amazing that it fills me with awe and wonder of creation. Is the propogation of this material due to some fear that this one theory threatens in some way the word of god? I'd rather not take such a narrow view on a text, in fact in the past I've been guilty of so deconstructing the creation text, that I lost sight of the beauty of a story.

Afternoon I headed off for my appointment and it was a fairly quick test:
is it better with one or two, that's one or two?
I think one is better.
Now is it better with one or two, one or two?
Two is better.
Are the words better on the red or the green background?
The red is slightly better.
And now?
The green is much better.

And that's it.

Though a quick look in my eyes, which was done with a contraption I had to rest my chin on, to be honest I preferred this as it kept some distance from the optometrist. In the past when they've looked through that little torch affair they come so close to your face, invading that personal space that once I just couldn't stop laughing. All I could see was this face distorted and enlarged out the corner of my eye firing a strong light into it. It was embarrassing, i just couldn't stop giggling. Anyway, the frames are now ordered and should have my new look soon.

cv was intersting this morning, we had one of the elderly local preachers, and it was a more traditional service, though in our informal setting. It was actually a very interesting sermon drawing on his vast experience of working during the way in developing telecoms that were essential for the war effort. Using this experience and looking at the imbiguity of war and peace, reflecting on Christ's teaching of turning the other cheek and loving your enemy. Very informed as he talked of many recent conflicts and the awkward decisions of a war that will result in a loss of life, to hopefully stem a loss of life that could be greater still without intervention. Finishing with some text from john sentamu the arch bish of york:"Offering a vision of wholeness in a compelling and imaginative way that is so persuasive that would-be bombers would come to see this as their own vision.
"A vision that would turn them from outsiders, self-excluding and deluded despisers of others, into belongers.
"A vision which will help them to see that those they seek to destroy are their own brothers and sisters regardless of their religious affiliations.
"The way to do this is by drawing a large enough circle of love which includes them and us."

It's just words

Went to the sheffield beer festival organised by sheffield camra on friday night. It was only £1 to get in, and absolutely incredible deal. There were a huge range of beers on offer, and i sampled quite a few, not too many, as I was meeting some friends from my uni days, and they were heading off for a curry at 7pm. My favourite of the night was bagpuss II brewed by abbeydale, if i recall I also enjoyed their bagpuss brew at the festival last year.
Today I attended synod, and it was the dullest ever, and my last for a while. I had been encouraged to take on a district role, but was feeling that I wasn't really getting anywhere with it, and to be honest I have no passion for the district, so I decided someone else migh be better suited. I think it works well as an administrative forum but that is all. It is far too large geographically and diverse for any district events to be attended. But I digress, the morning session was held jointly with the anglicans, and in fact as i was walking to the sports hall chatting with a women from network I knew from conference, we were accosted and asked were we methodist or anglican. I said it didn't really matter what we were, but it seems she needed to register the anglicans. Then I wondered if I should be offended at being mistaken for an anglican.....
Would you believe it - no tea or coffee at the start. If this is how the anglican methodist covenant is going to manifest itself, depriving the methodists of their cup of tea then I think we should retreat back to our dis-established and non-conformative ways. I don't know. We were then subjected to an hour lecture on some church sociology report called 'faithful cities', and my word was it dull. I'm sure there are probably some interesting points to be made, but it was delivered as if talking to a group of sociologists, rather than a mixed group of laity and ordained from various backgrounds. There followed discussions in groups about how the 'church' can impact the cities, but to be honest I thought it was just a load of words. It's so easy to go into huddles and write these reports and talk about the changing social attitudes and the diverse needs and recognise all these, but at the end of the day it doesn't help us engage with the message of christ. Maybe all these words make us feel better in the light of continued decline.