Regina bookends

It seems that as a regina spektor gig saw the beginning of a relationship with v, another one marks it's end. We both had our reservations about full commital, not least the difficulties of living on separate continents. How do you ever know, there's no all encompassing formula, and all the what if's and unknown variables. For someone with a mathematical mind it's too hard to calculate, and yet we shared so many beautiful times together and i always enjoyed engaging in conversation, as we had so many things in common, especially our eclectic taste in movies and music. Last night when the end became apparent, there's that numbness that engulfs, as if all you blood is failing to be pumped to it's correct location. The mouth goes dry, saliva stops and you try swallowing cos it feels like there is some great obstacle in your throat. There's nothing to do but wallow in self pity, trying to see what could've been done in the past to have a different result. How someone of such beauty would have an interst in the first place, a wilderness set before devoid of any replacements that could meet such a standard. A few seasons ago leeds were playing at the san siro and now they are in danger of playing chesterfield at saltergate next season, and you just wonder what you could've done to win one more corner.